On December 12, 2006, My wife Pam was diagnosed with stage IV NH Lymphoma.  Since Pam has such wonderful and caring friends, I thought it would be easier to keep everyone updated via the web.  I have compiled the post below from her journey through scans, porta caths installation, bone marrow biopsies, blood work, chemo, and antibody infusions. 

She is my wife, best friend and a proud cancer survivor.

Pam is Prayerfully Focused and Ready
Once again thanks for your prayers and encouraging words for Pam and our family. Pam has mentioned on numerous occasions the power she has felt from your prayers and kind thoughts. Here is an update on her cancer diagnosis as well as her treatment plan. I sincerely apologize for not updating sooner but as you can imagine with tests, scans, biopsy, Christmas, the New Year, reading and studying the numerous cancer articles/abstracts, the kids, work, etc. it has been busy. Ethan also had bronchial pneumonia over the break. After a good dose of antibiotics he is feeling much better. Pam also caught a bronchial infection and had to be on antibiotics as well. I also wanted to make sure that we had all the information from Pam’s scans, bone marrow biopsy, blood work as well as treatment options. Please keep in mind that I am not a Dr. (and have never played one on TV) so if I miscommunicate medical terminology, please forgive me. On December 14 Pam had a bone marrow biopsy. According to Pam this was a painful procedure but as always she did not complain (she did about squeeze my hand off). She is tougher than she looks and the Practioner said she has incredibly tough bones. December 21 she had a CT Scan and Muga Scan (a heart scan-if you want to know more go to this link MUGA Scan. The Muga scan will be used in monitoring her heart during the Chemo + Rituxin therapy. December 22 she did the PET scan. The PET Scan illuminates the body to show where the cancer might have spread. December 27 we met with her Oncologist and he reviewed the results of the test and scans as well as treatment options. The results of the scans indicates that Pam is in Stage IV due to the involvement of her bone marrow as well as the lymph nodes in her neck, abdomen and groin. The nodes in her abdomen appear to be bulky. Most Follicular NH Lymphoma is in Stage IV when diagnosed due to its indolent nature. December 27 we invited Father Dan Schuh, our holy priest from St. Susanna to our home to administer the Anointing of the Sick Sacrament for Pam. We were blessed to have my mom and her husband Bob, as well as Tracy (Sheldon and Ethan’s Godfather) and his wife Joyce and their daughter Charity (our Goddaughter) present. Pam will begin R CHOP Treatment January 9. Treatments will be three (3) weeks apart and will consist of six (6) cycles. The treatment will take about six (6) hours. As stated in our previous email she will be given chemotherapy medication in addition to a monoclonal antibody called Rituxin. The antibody drug in addition to the chemo has been highly effective in the treatment of NH Lymphoma. At the recommendation of the Oncologist as well as others (i.e., Pam’s aunt Pam-a brave cancer survivor and a great source of encouragement), Pam had a Portocatheter surgically implanted in her chest on Tuesday, January 2. The port will allow for easier infusion for the treatments. Pam did have some post-op discomfort but seems to be recovering just fine. Sheldon, Ethan and Catherine are doing fine. Sheldon is home for Christmas break. He has been extremely helpful with Ethan and Catherine. It is good to have him home. Ethan is busy with swimming and is in the middle of his high school season. He is hoping to qualify for state this year. Catherine is doing great. She turns 9 on Saturday. I cannot believe it. Pam and Catherine went wig shopping this past week in case Pam loses her hair. In the event she does lose her hair I told her that we need to find a ready excuse for being late for Sunday Mass. And as always Pam smiled at me and told me to be quiet. As always, Pam retains her humor no matter the circumstance. I am one lucky guy! Please keep us in your prayers as we travel together on a new journey. We are confident in God’s grace and love. If you would like to send a message to Pam, her email is pamelajmcneil@yahoo.com or you can post your thoughts to this blog. These past weeks I have been praying a Novena for the healing and cure for Pam’s cancer. For those of you who are not familiar with a Novena prayer–a novena is nine (9) days of concentrated and focused prayer. The nine (9) days are in memory of the nine (9) days of prayer practiced by the apostles and the Blessed Mother in the upper room between Ascension Thursday and Pentecost Sunday (see Acts 1:12-14). The practice of praying in this manner became a tradition in the early church. The Novena is in the text below. I encourage you to pray this prayer with me for Pam’s healing:

A Novena for a Healing or a Cure for Pam

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirt. ~Amen.

Jesus was about thirty years old ~When he began his work.

Psalm 91 God Our Protector

Antiphon GOD WILL GIVE ANGELS CHARGE OVER YOU.

Those who dwell in the shelter of the Most High, who abide in the shadow of the Almighty, will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress; my God in whom I trust.”

For the Lord will deliver you from the snares of the fowler and from deadly pestilence and will cover you with pinions; under the Lord’s wings you will find refuge. God’s faithfulness is a shield and buckler.

You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness, nor the destruction that wastes at noonday.

A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will look only with your eyes and see the end of the wicked.

Because you have made the Lord your refuge, the Most High your habitation, no evil shall befall you, no plague come near your tent.

For God will give angels charge over you to guard you in all your ways. They will bear you up on their hands lest you dash your foot against a stone. You will tread on the lion and the adder, the young lion and the serpent you will trample underfoot.

Those who cling to me in love I will deliver: I will protect them, because they know my name. When they call me, I will answer them; I will be with them in trouble, I will rescue them and honor them. I will satisfy them with long life and show them my salvation.

Antiphon GOD WILL GIVE ANGELS CHARGE OVER YOU.

Psalm Prayer Let us pray (pause for quiet prayer):

Most High God, from age to age until everlasting you are our fortress and our shield. As we find refuge under your wings, give your angels charge over us and deliver us from every evil and affliction. We ask this through Christ our Lord. ~Amen

Reading Jesus Cures the Sick Matthew 4:23-25

Jesus went throughout Galilee, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the good news of the kingdom and curing every disease adn every sickness among the people. So his fame spread throughout all Syria, and they brought to him all the sick, those who were afflicted with various diseases and pains, demoniacs, epileptics, and paralytics, and he cured them. And great crowsds followed him from Galilee, the Decapolis, Jerusalem, Judea, and from beyond the Jordan.

SILENCE

RESPONSE The people who sat in darkness ~Have seen a great light.

Canticle of Isaiah the Prophet (12:2-6) Antiphon WITH JOY YOU WILL DRAW WATER FROM THE WELLS OF SALVATION. Surely God is my salvation: I will trust, and will not be afraid, for the Lord God is my strength and my might; he has become my salvation. Give thanks to the Lord, call on his name; Make known his deeds among the nations; proclaim that his name is exalted. Sing praises to the Lord, for he has done gloriously; let this be known in all the earth. Shout aloud and sing for joy, O royal Zion, for great in your midst is the Holy One of Israel. Antiphon WITH JOY YOU WILL DRAW WATER FROM THE WELLS OF SALVATION. Novena Prayer Lord Jesus, healer of our souls and bodies, during your life on earth you went about doing good, healing every manner of sickness and disease, strengthening, curing, comforting, and consoling. Healer of our broken souls and bodies and enemy of death and disease, lay your healing hand on Pam, and by your grace restore her to good health that she may praise you without ceasing and serve you among your holy people for many years to come. Blessed be Jesus, friend of the human race! ~Amen. May God the Father bless us and keep us, God the son lay his healing hand upon us, God the Holy Spirit strengthen and console us. May the Holy and Undivided Trinity guard our body, save our soul, and bring us in safety to our heavenly home. ~Amen. Blessings, Lawain �

Pam’s First Treatment
I am happy to post that Pam’s first treatment is finished. As expected, she faced it with an incredible attitude and spirit of determination. Please continue to pray for her as we can feel the power and comfort from your intercessions. Thank you, thank you, thank you! She began the first treatment January 9th at 9:30am. The night before her first treatment, she had to take a series of meds. Prednisone was orally taken to give her the needed boost for the treatment. She will take this med for 5 days - each cycle. The Oncologist warned her that she needs to make sure that she takes the steroid in the morning or she might end up with too much energy and not be able to sleep. Since Pam loves to hit baseballs/softballs-I suggested to her that we go to the batting cages to see if she can swing with more power (can you say Barry Bonds?). As always, she smiled and shook her head. In addition to the Prednisone, she is taking a medication that counters the acid the tumors release during treatment. This med will protect her kidneys and other organs. She also took an anti-nausea medication. I thought she would be very anxious and unable to rest the night before her first treatment, but as always I was wrong. The treatment was administered via the Porto-Catheter in her chest. Pam said there was no discomfort as they inserted the IV. To prepare her for the Rituxin (I wittingly refer to this antibody as RITOXIN) and the chemo drugs (Cytoxin, Vincristine, Doxorubicin), they administered Benadryl, Tylenol and more anti-nausea medication. She was soon very drowsy and very relaxed. After an hour or so they started the Rituxin drip (Rituxin has to be infused slowly, gradually). She had a little discomfort (trouble swallowing, breathing) but once they slowed the drip down, she handled it well. After she finished the Rituxin infusion, the other chemo drugs were administered. The total treatment lasted about 7 hours. She was very tired and had very little nausea. Once she got home, she was able to sleep and relax. The day after treatment (January 10), she was still feeling very exhausted but thankfully had little nausea. The meds they have given her have really done a great job in relieving the stomach discomfort that so many cancer patients in the past had to experience. She is resting comfortable at home. Her next treatment is January 31. It goes without saying, Thank you for your thoughts, emails and letters that you have sent. We are very, very grateful. They have been a tremendous source of encouragement for us. I will do my best to keep you posted. If you would like to share a note of encouragement to Pam, her email is pamelajmcneil@yahoo.com. Our Prayer for Today Psalm 20 May the Lord answer in time of trial; may the name of Jacob’s God protect you. May he send you help from his shrine and give you support from Zion. May he remember all your offerings and receive your sacrifice with favor. May he give you your heart’s desire and fulfill every one of your plans. May we ring out our joy at your victory and rejoice in the name of our God. May the Lord grant all your prayers. I am sure now that the Lord will give victory to his anointed, will reply from his holy heaven with the mighty victory of his hand. Some trust in chariots or horses, but we in the name of the Lord. They will collapse and fall, but we shall hold and stand firm. Give victory to the king, O Lord, give answer on the day we call. Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning, is now, and will be forever. Amen. Lawain

First Treatment Update
I am happy to report that Pam is feeling well. She does experience bouts of fatigue and heartburn (Dr. K has prescribed a heartburn med so hopefully this will be gone) but all things considering she is doing great. Please continue to pray for her and our family. We have felt a definite sense of peace and comfort from your prayers. For this, we are thankful and consider it the greatest gift that can be given. After Pam’s first treatment we really did not know what to expect regarding reaction to the chemo and the antibody. She experienced minimal side effects the day after the treatment. However, the following seven (7) days were very trying and tough on her. She never complained and would not admit that she felt horrible but I knew from her appearance and countenance that she was suffering from the treatment. The heartburn alone was unbearable for her at times, but she patiently fought through it. Pam hates Tums but gladly took them in the hopes of finding some relief (sorry Rolaids, I know that is your tag line). We contacted the Dr. K (as I mentioned above) for a prescription. The heartburn has gotten better. The past few days she has felt much better. She was able to get her shopping mojo for a couple of hours on Friday and Sunday. I am sure Ann Taylor and Target was glad to see her. On another note, she has not lost any hair yet. The Onc Nurse was pretty sure that her hair would be out within a week and half. As of this writing she is still enjoying her hair. We do know with this treatment she most assured at some point to lose her hair but the fact that it is still in as been a pleasant surprise and a gift from God. Many of you have inquired about providing a meal for us. If you would like to do so, please contact our dear friend and my fellow 80’s fashion consultant Brenda Russell. She and Russ are coordinating meals and can be reached at 513.459.4818. Once again, thanks for everything. We are blessed because we have friends like you in our life. Our Prayer for This Day Lord, you have renewed the face of the earth. Your Church throughout the world sings you a new song, announcing your wonders to all. Through a virgin, you have brought forth a new birth in our world; through your miracles, a new power; through your suffering, a new patience; in your resurrection, a new hope, and in your ascension, new majesty. Amen.

Pam’s Second Treatment Update
Sorry for the delay in posting. We are very happy that the second treatment is over. Pam had a very emotional weekend prior to the second treatment due to losing her hair. Her hair began falling out last Wednesday. On Friday, she made the decision for me to shave her head. She has picked out some incredible hats and caps. As always, she is beautiful. She has experienced more fatigue and tiredness with this treatment but she is in great spirits. Thanks for all your prayers and emails. They encourage all of us. Please feel free to drop Pam an email at pamelajmcneil@yahoo.com. She loves hearing from all of you. Today’s reading from the Liturgy of the Hours I found appropriate and helpful– Romans 8:18-21 The sufferings of the present are as nothing compared with the glory to be revealed in us. Indeed, the whole created world eagerly awaits the revelation of the sons of God. Creation was made subject to futility, not of its own accord but by him who once subjected it; yet not without hope, because the world itself will be freed from its slavery to corruption and share in the glorious freedom of the children of God.

Pam’s Third Treatment Update
“We ought to conform to the will of God in sickness and infirmity and wish for what He sends us, both at the time it comes and for the time it lasts and with all the circumstances attending it, without wishing for one of them to be changed; and at the same time do all that is reasonable in our power to get well again, because God wishes it so. ‘For my part’ says St. Alphonsus, ‘I call illness the touchstone of the spirit, for it is then that the true virtue of a person is discovered.’ If we feel ourselves becoming impatient or rebellious we should endeavor to repress such feelings and be deeply ashamed of any attempt at opposition to the just decress of an all-wise God.” Father Jean Baptiste Saint Jure, SJ Trustful Surrender to Divine Providence-The Secret of Peace and Happiness Pam had her third treatment on Wednesday, February 21. As with the two previous treatments, she experiences fatigue and an uncomfortable stomach (but not the typical nausea that many chemo patients have) for a couple of days after treatment. The toughest days are 6-10 days after the treatment. She is very tired and simply exhausted. This has to do with the prednisone she takes for five days after her treatments (she hates this drug with a passion due to the side effects and the taste) and the falling blood counts from Chemo. All in all, she remains very positive and happy. Sheldon, Ethan and Catherine are doing fine. Sheldon has been working fulltime since he is in the middle of transferring colleges. Ethan just finished his High School swim season and is trying to qualify for the National Meet in Ft. Lauderdale in April. Catherine is busy with dance and has been a tremendous help to all of us. We are thankful for your continued prayers and thoughts. We feel the spiritual support from all of you. And…thank you for the meals. Brenda Russell has done an incredible job coordinating and helping!

Pam’s Fourth Treatment Update
Pam had her fourth treatment on March 14. The fourth treatment has proven to be the toughest for Pam. She has been extremely fatigued and sick. My heart and very being hurts for her as she does not feel well. She is scheduled next week for a Pet Scan, CT Scan, Mugga Scan and Bone Marrow Biopsy to determine if the lymphoma is in remission. Please keep our family in your daily prayers. We are most appreciative for the many prayers that have been offered up.

Pam’s Pet Scan Update
Pam had a Pet Scan this morning at Christ Hospital. This scan will determine if she is in remission or not. The better news today is that she is feeling better. Since her last treatment she has had a very grueling time with fatigue, weakness and flu like symptoms. She will have a Mugga Scan on Thursday (this scan will see if there is heart damage from the chemo) followed by a Bone Marrow Biopsy on Tuesday. Please keep us in your prayers as we anxiously await the next results. Many thanks to all of you for your prayers, meals and letters. They are a tremendous source of encouragement for Pam and all of us. On a lighter note, I told Pam she reminded me of Tupac Shakur today in her Bandana. I encouraged her to give the ‘west side’ greeting to all of her prayer homies. I give her props for her attitude, smile and the never ending love she gives all of us. I love you honey!Lawain

Wonderful, Great, Incredible News! It is official…Pam is in REMISSION!
The Pet Scan and CT Scan indicated that there was no cancer but we had to wait on the Bone Marrow Biopsy for full confirmation. On Monday, April 9 we finally heard from the Oncologist with the great, blessed news. Not only are we relieved but deeply thankful for the constant prayers offered by all of you. God sent his grace filled comfort to Pam and our family in ways that words cannot express. Thank you! Thank you. She completed her fifth (5th) treatment on Wednesday, April 6. She has been extremely sick from this treatment. She will have her next treatment on April 25 (a day before her birthday) but is ready to get it over with. I am so very proud of her. She has been such an amazing witness to me and the kids. Once again thanks for your constant prayers, Lawain

Easter Pics

Please Pray for Pam
On Friday night Pam was hospitalized due to low blood counts and infection. She developed a fever on Thursday night that continued into Friday. Friday I took her to the Oncologist for blood work. Her white blood counts were decimated and incapable of battling an infection that is present in her body. They are trying to determine the source of the infection (it may be the portocath in her chest but not sure). They are giving her intravenous antibiotics and fluids. More than likely she will be in the hospital for 3-4 days till her counts come back. She is in a room on the Oncology-Hematolgy wing so fresh flowers and plants are not allowed–only continual and constant prayers. Once again thank you for everything. Lawain

Update
Pam is resting well and feeling much better. The Chemotherapy and Rituxan treatments have caused a condition called Neutropenia. Neutropenia is simply the lack of a particular white blood cell (neutrophils) to fight off invaders in the body. The result–fevers, infection and feeling like you have the flu. They are checking to see if her portocath is infected or not (this will be determined by the culture drawn today-the culture should come back by Monday). The better news is that she was in good spirits tonight (Saturday). As always, please continue the many prayers lifted to God. In his Grace, Lawain

Pam is Out of the Hospital
Pam was released yesterday afternoon from the hospital. They had planned on keeping her for a couple more days but her counts were on the way up. She is feeling better but still very fatigued and weak. She told me that the fifth treatment really took it out of her. She has an Oncologist appointment tomorrow to get her counts checked again. I am sure that the next treatment on the 25th will be the toughest for her but she is ready to get it over with and be done with chemo. After she got home yesterday, she received a surprise phone call from her brother Rick. He was in Cincinnati on business and decided to have dinner with us and spend time with his big sister. It was great to see him. He loves LaRosa’s Pizza–so guess what we had for dinner?

Pam and the Kids

Pam’s Last Treatment Re-Scheduled For May 2, 2007
Due to Pam’s low blood counts and recent bout with infections, Dr. K has decided to move Pam’s last treatment to May 2. Even though Pam was somewhat disappointed that she will not finish her last treatment until next week, she was relieved that she has time to recover (and feel better). These last few weeks have been the most challenging for Pam. We are looking forward to her birthday on Thursday. I have a special present for her and anxious to surprise her. Blessings to all, Lawain

Pam’s Treatment Rescheduled-Again
Due to low blood counts Pam’s treatment was cancelled. She will be going in for the final treatment on May 9 at 9:30am. I did feel bad for her in that she was mentally prepared to be done with the chemo only to face another week of anticipation of it being over. At least she will have another week of allowing her body to rest and gain strength. She is an amazing woman! The news of remission, the spring weather, and knowing that treatments will be ending soon is enough to keep a smile on our face and grateful for the many blessings given to us from God above. Thanks for everything. You all are special to us. Lawain

Please Offer Your Prayers up for Pam
First I forgot to share with you what Pam’s special birthday present was—-a new Cannondale Road Bicycle. Once treatments are complete she will be joining the pelaton for fitness and join me on my rides. Pam is actually a very good athlete (not to mention her ninja brain skills on syllacrostics) and will adapt to the sport of cycling quite well. Plus, I have to admit that she will look good in cycling spandex! She has had a very tough (and at times a frustrating) couple of weeks. After mentally preparing to finish her chemo, she has faced the disappointment of cancellation of treatments due to very, very low counts. Her Oncologist is concerned since her counts have not recovered since her last treatment on April 4. It is very common for counts to be low but not to remain as low as they have for such a long period of time. They have decided to give her Neupogen for five consecutive days to increase her bone marrow production. When the counts come back up, they will give her the sixth and final treatment. These shots will be given every morning this week at the Oncologist office. She has an Oncologist appointment on Wednesday, May 16 in which they will check her blood counts. If the counts are up on Wednesday, they will treat her and forego the three remaining shots. If the counts are not back after the five Neupogen shots, they will have to do another bone marrow biopsy to determine what is causing the failing counts. Even though it has been disappointing for her to have this setback, we have to remain optimistic and hang on to the hope that has been given graciously and freely to all of us. Please pray for Pam and for my family. Lawain

Pam Scheduled for Treatment Today (5-21-07)
We are in need of your prayers today as Pam prepares for the final treatment. Her counts on Friday have recovered to the levels that were present prior to her first treatment in January (seems so long ago). I attribute the recovered counts to prayer and Neupogen. She is ready to finish and move on to the next chapter. I will post later today. Lawain

FINISHED! - fini! - 終えられる! - acabado! - rifinito! - готовой! - beendet! -
Pam—-WAY TO GO!!! With the power of prayer, mental attitude and sheer grit, you grabbed cancer by its wimpy neck and gave it a needed smack down. You have replaced all the bad asses I used to hold up as the toughest of the toughs. John Wayne, Gussie McNeil (my mom), Clint Eastwood, Robert Deniro, Al Pacino, Marlon Brando, Bruce Lee, Steven Seagal (the Above the Law Seagal), all the Goodfellas are now officially replaced–replaced by a petite, 130 pound, 40 something suburban mom with the fearless determination and the willingness to suffer without complaint. You faced the unknown with courage. I have to admit there were moments when I was scared to death but I only had to look at you and see the resolve you had to see this through. What can I say. You are the woman that a man can only dream of having in their life—how I ended up with you is beyond me. This has been the cosmic riddle that so many of our friends have posed without answer. How many times have you heard someone ask me, “how did you end with her?” It is a valid question but I am seeking no answer. What can I say? You are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. I am so glad you finished your treatments! Way to go PJ! Way to go!

The Oops-Sorry it Took me so Long to Update Update
Pam is doing great! Over a month ago we got the wonderful news that she is in full remission. The scans were all clear! Other than dealing with the change of life that was induced by the chemotherapy (not age even though Pam is much older than me–she is going to kill me), she is feeling back to herself again. I cannot express the gratitude for the many prayers and kind thoughts from all of you. Thank you. While Pam was going through chemo, she said to me that when she finished the treatments and felt better, she wanted to take the kids to New York City. So in September we went to NYC and had a blast. We stayed in Manhattan, ate like royalty and did the usual–Broadway (Mama Mia), Central Park, Eating (Little Italy), Shopping (FAO Schwarz), and of course–Mass at St. Patrick’s Cathedral (unbelievable). Imagine the insanity of Ethan singing every song in the ABBA catalog for the next month. It was a memorable, wonderful trip and Pam could not have been happier. What a way to celebrate the the completion of a horrible six month regimen of cancer treatments. She is truly incredible. So here it 2008. What is on the horizon for her? She has just completed a 4 cycle regimen (1 infusion weekly over a 4 week period) of Rituxan (an monoclonal antibody). The Rituxan has been shown to keep lymphoma in remission. She will do another 5 week infusion next year. She experienced no side effects (other than drowsiness from the Benadryl). For now she is finished with any sort of follow up treatments. She will have quarterly checkups (scans will be every six months). I realize that we do not get to see or talk to many of you but please know that we are most grateful for your prayers and thoughts. Lawain